(NOTE: These are rules are meant as an in-joke amongst the guild and are not in any way serious)
Rule 1: No pants.
Rule 2: If any member does something stupid and/or embarrassing, he/she shall be mocked on the matter for an appropriate time.
Rule 2a: This time will be the importance of that person to the power of the stupidity of the act.
Rule 3: In any dispute between females, the member with the largest boob volume to mass ratio wins.
Rule 4: Jo or Akey is allowed to let anyone who pulls aggro off him die in a horrible manner (especially gnomes).
Rule 5: Machone cannot raid sober.
Rule 6: No member may interrupt any discussion regarding and/or admiring boobs.
Rule 7: Any reference in conversation to a movie and/or TV show should be acknowledged by all those who recognize and understand the reference.
Rule 8: Should Jetherek log on vent he must be mocked then banned by whomever is online at the time.
Rule 9: Abuses of power are allowed only in the name of comedic intent.
Rule 10: Officers may not be mocked and must be shown respect at all times due to their standing as officers in the guild.
Rule 10a: This rule has been repealed and will no longer be enforced.
Rule 11: When someone asks you if you are a god, you say YES.
Rule 12: It is always Timpek’s fault
Rule 12a: This rule may no longer be cited by Twiki due to overuse.
Rule 13: Niknak patiwak give a Drago a bone.
Rule 14: It is always Wence’s fault. And also Lasada’s.
Rule 15: Any officer may go back on a promise made in a state of stupidity.
Rule 16: When Dobby’s happy everyone is happy.
Rule 17: All boss names are subject to change pending their ability to be pronounced.
Rule 18: Fuck Dailes
Rule 19: Scarto is President and should be ridiculed and blamed accordingly.
Rule 20: A wipe in raid is always the fault of the person whose character name comes last in the alphabet.
Rule 22 ...women
Rule 23 When a gay man calls you a pansy, your testicles shrink 34.82%
Rule 27: Timpek is only 10% correct in any situation.
Rule 28: We love our healers but they are always wrong except when they aren't....but don't tell them that.
Rule 29:Timmy can't count.
Rule 34: The internet is for porn!
Rule 42:In the beginning the Universe was created.
This has made a lot of people very angry and has been widely regarded as a bad move.
Rule 43: No destroying others buildings in minecraft lest ye buildings be destroyed
Rule 45: No peeing on tree Dobby!
Rule 52: TPD's raiders do so much better when TPD does fights because TPD TPD TPDness.
Rule 54: Timpek is not allowed to be bitter that Houston didn't get a space shuttle, NOT ALLOWED TO BE BITTER
Rule 56: No saying "cheesing the boss" its dead, let it die
Rule 58: No taking phlikk apart like a mr. potato head and putting her back together weird.
Rule 59: Under FTC regulation 14:24, Imported Timpeks may only contain .05% lead and/or .046% Radium
Rule 61: Neither Dobby nor Sploofs squeals my reach over 110dBA
Rule 62: Timpek's deaths by drowning may not excede 1 per year
Rule 65: Timmy must always jump in the big hole
Rule 69: No member shall ever impede the awesomeness of boobs.
Rule 71: It's always Panda's fault, when he remembers
Rule 73: No more going to the hospital, you raid or you die.
Rule 77: The pronunciation of Massachusetts has been changed to "Massive Two Shits"
Rule 78: No man in the raid can be a bigger bitch than Puru or Cherry
Rule 79: Dobby has been expelled from Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry for impersonating a whomping willow.
Rule 80: Timpek has been banned from the TARDIS for trying to shave off Hitler's mustache.
Rule 81: Lollie has been beamed off the USS Enterprise for inappropriate use of the holodeck.
Rule 82: Puru has been banished from Ba Sing Se for suggesting that Kiwis are a real animal.
Rule 83: Drago has been incinerated by GLaDOS for refusal to dispose of the Companion Cube.
Rule 84: Rick's Law: As the length of a conversation increases, the probability of a sexual reference being made grows closer to 1.
Rule 84b: This rule applies to the rules themselves; I ruled your mom last night.
Rule 85: Vashten is not allowed to eat more than the mass of the Empire State Building in any given day.
Rule 86: White bears can't jump.
Rule 87: IS NEVER FUCKING ALLOWED BACK IN OUR RAIDS AGAIN, OVER MY DEAD FUCKING BODY!!!!!
Rule 88: Rule 137 overrides Rule 6
Rule 89: No member is allowed to miss raid for Kwanzaa or any other made up holiday.
Rule 90: As mandated by the Chinese government, Panda is required to keep 500 yards away from any actual panda at all times
Rule 91: All members are required to ask for recommendation for doughnuts from Tann first.
Rule 92: Any guild members name that cannot be pronounce within 3 seconds of trying shall henceforth be known by a weird version of their name.
Rule 93: When referring to a guild member as "New " all guild members are required to know which guy people are talking about.
Rule 94:Canadians of the guild must recognize that the USA is a Superior country.
Rule 95: Americans of the guild must recognize that Canada has poutine.
Rule 96: Any guild member with and interesting accent (except Twiki) has priority to speak on vent.
Rule 97: Kergi is not allowed to hit on Panda, he is not, in fact, female.
Rule 98: Velicee is not allowed to kick Vashten's ass during raid.
Rule 98a:Vashten must me physically assaulted whenever he dies to stupid.
Rule 99:The only real Hockey are Canadian, but hockey isn't a real sport anyway.
Rule 100:Drago is responsible for the cleaning and maintenance of the Hunter's pet Kennels.
Rule 101:Luckywrestler is neither lucky nor a wrestler, he should not be assumed as such.
Rule 102:Any time Timmy misses raid, the raid will kill at least one new boss.
Rule 137: Any conversation can be interrupted due to information regarding Oreos.
Rules 404: Rule not found
Rule 405: Lollie is not required to carry a lock pick