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re: The "Real" Guild Rules


(NOTE: These are rules are meant as an in-joke amongst the guild and are not in any way serious)
Rule 1: No pants.

Rule 2: If any member does something stupid and/or embarrassing, he/she shall be mocked on the matter for an appropriate time. 

Rule 2a: This time will be the importance of that person to the power of the stupidity of the act.

Rule 3: In any dispute between females, the member with the largest boob volume to mass ratio wins.

Rule 4: Jo or Akey is allowed to let anyone who pulls aggro off him die in a horrible manner (especially gnomes).

Rule 5: Machone cannot raid sober.

Rule 6: No member may interrupt any discussion regarding and/or admiring boobs.
Rule 7: Any reference in conversation to a movie and/or TV show should be acknowledged by all those who recognize and understand the reference. 

Rule 8: Should Jetherek log on vent he must be mocked then banned by whomever is online at the time.
Rule 8a: This rule is repealed.
Rule 8b: This rule is reinstated.
Rule 9: Abuses of power are allowed only in the name of comedic intent.

Rule 10: Officers may not be mocked and must be shown respect at all times due to their standing as officers in the guild.

Rule 10a: This rule has been repealed and will no longer be enforced.
Rule 11: When someone asks you if you are a god, you say YES. 

Rule 12: It is always Timpek’s fault 

Rule 12a: This rule may no longer be cited by Twiki due to overuse.

Rule 13: Niknak patiwak give a Drago a bone.

Rule 14: It is always Wence’s fault. And also Lasada’s.

Rule 15: Any officer may go back on a promise made in a state of stupidity.

Rule 16: When Dobby’s happy everyone is happy. 

Rule 17: All boss names are subject to change pending their ability to be pronounced.

Rule 18: Fuck Dailes

Rule 19: Minpincin is President and should be ridiculed and blamed accordingly.

Rule 20: A wipe in raid is always the fault of the person whose character name comes last in the alphabet.

Rule 21: 
Kushy is not permitted more that 5 smoke breaks per hour.
Rule 22: ...women

Rule 23:When a gay man calls you a pansy, your testicles shrink 34.82%
Rule 24: The Lich King is a pretty princess, let it go.
Rule 27: Timpek is only 10% correct in any situation.
Rule 28: We love our healers but they are always wrong except when they aren't....but don't tell them that.
Rule 29: Timmy can't count. 

Rule 30:  All raiders are expected to know and understand the exact amount of gravitational pull of Vasten’s ass, and are expected to adjust their instruments accordingly.
Rule 31: On demand Min must be prepared to cater the guild barbecue and pool party.
Rule 32: Borvoh may be and should be mocked anytime he shows up to raid and does not have gems/enchants/reforges on both sets of gear.  (So 99% of the time)
Rule 34: The internet is for porn!

Rule 35: Sonikk may not hibernate during raid.
Rule 36: Sploof and Akey are lesbian lovers. Dont hate on their love.
Rule 37: If anyone says "we are gonna 1 shot this boss", or any variation thereof, all raid wipes for the remainder of the night will be their fault, and all raiders must send the repair bill to that person. (This rule will persist for 2 weeks if the offender is a gnome)
Rule 42: In the beginning the Universe was created.
This has made a lot of people very angry and has been widely regarded as a bad move.

Rule 43: No destroying others buildings in minecraft lest ye buildings be destroyed

Rule 45: No peeing on tree Dobby!

Rule 52: TPD's raiders do so much better when TPD does fights because TPD TPD TPDness.

Rule 54: Timpek is not allowed to be bitter that Houston didn't get a space shuttle, NOT ALLOWED TO BE BITTER

Rule 56: No saying "cheesing the boss" its dead, let it die

Rule 58: No taking phlikk apart like a mr. potato head and putting her back together weird. 

Rule 59: Under FTC regulation 14:24, Imported Timpeks may only contain .05% lead and/or .046% Radium

Rule 61: Neither Dobby nor Sploofs squeals my reach over 110dBA

Rule 62: Timpek's deaths by drowning may not exceed 1 per year

Rule 63: Timmy must always jump in the big hole

Rule 69: No member shall ever impede the awesomeness of boobs.

Rule 71: It's always Panda's fault, when he remembers

Rule 73: No more going to the hospital, you raid or you die.

Rule 77: The pronunciation of Massachusetts has been changed to "Massive Two Shits"

Rule 78: No man in the raid can be a bigger bitch than Puru or Cherry

Rule 79: Dobby has been expelled from Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry for impersonating a whomping willow. 

Rule 80: Timpek has been banned from the TARDIS for trying to shave off Hitler's mustache. 

Rule 81: Lollie has been beamed off the USS Enterprise for inappropriate use of the holodeck.

Rule 82: Puru has been banished from Ba Sing Se for suggesting that Kiwis are a real animal. 

Rule 83: Drago has been incinerated by GLaDOS for refusal to dispose of the Companion Cube. 

Rule 84: Sploof has been exiled to the Nether for the sexual harassment of a Creeper.
Rule 85: Vashten is not allowed to eat more than the mass of the Empire State Building in any given day.
Rule 86: White bears can't jump.


Rule 88: Rule 137 overrides Rule 6

Rule 89: No member is allowed to miss raid for Kwanzaa or any other made up holiday. 

Rule 90: As mandated by the Chinese government, Panda is required to keep 500 yards away from any actual panda at all times

Rule 91: All members are required to ask for recommendation for doughnuts from Tann first.

Rule 92: Any guild members name that cannot be pronounce within 3 seconds of trying shall henceforth be known by a weird version of their name.

Rule 93: When referring to a guild member as "New " all guild members are required to know which guy people are talking about.

Rule 94: Canadians of the guild must recognize that the USA is a Superior country.

Rule 95: Americans of the guild must recognize that Canada has poutine.

Rule 96: Any guild member with and interesting accent (except Twiki) has priority to speak on vent.

Rule 97: Kergi is not allowed to hit on Panda, he is not, in fact, female. 

Rule 98: Velicee is not allowed to kick Vashten's ass during raid.

Rule 98a:Vashten and Lucky must be physically assaulted whenever they die to stupid. 

Rule 99: The only real Hockey are Canadian, but hockey isn't a real sport anyway.
Rule 100: Drago is responsible for the cleaning and maintenance of the Hunter's pet Kennels. 

Rule 101: Luckywrestler is neither lucky nor a wrestler, he should not be assumed as such. 

Rule 102: Any time Timmy misses raid, the raid will kill at least one new boss.
Rule 103: Gen is offically the fourth best person from Oklahoma in the guild.
Rule 104: No players may wear their old legendaries, fishing rods, chefs hats, guild cloaks tier one gloves or rings of the Kirin Tor during real raid.
Rule 105: Tirno is the best pornstar a guild could ask for.
Rule 106: When anyone asks for computer help, Jo must first ask if they have tried turning it off and then on again.
Rule 107: Sonikk is ACTUALLY a bear, sitting at a computer, wearing a headset.
Rule 137: Any conversation can be interrupted due to information regarding Oreos.
Rules 404: Rule not found

Rule 405: Lollie is not required to carry a lock pick
Rule 406: Praise be unto our lord Helix Fossil. May he free us from the Dome fossil and the influence of the false profit. Praise be unto him
Rule 419.9: Anything relating to .1 more than this rule is Null
Rule 451: Don't Burn a Kindle
Rule 1066: If you bitch about gaps in rules, you have to fill in the gaps you

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